Still blogging away… just been incredibly busy with unrelated things. Though everything is related because when things get messy, it’s awfully easy to eat badly! But I have been trying to stay true to my goal and have thankfully not gone above 180 even though it would please me greatly to go below that and stay there. Right now I am still eating way better but not quite as active in traditional means of weight maintenance/loss such as treadmill or bicycling. Instead it’s lots of household and yardwork type activities… oh and moving boxes, cant forget that! Anyway, even when I’m not blogging, I’m still thinking of what else I can do to help reach my goals and stay there. I think I will have to start adding an activity a week and removing another bad habit. Well, I’ll have to think about it for a while because I want this to be a realistic venture. I’m happy that I have s l o w l y lost some weight already but would like to lose more so I know I will have to mix it up a bit. Wish I could stay and chat, but I have a lot to do today before I go to work!

Well, It’s Sunday and I will say I’ll be good today! After yesterday, almost anything would be good. I went to a beer festival with my son and we sampled a lot of microbrews. Then we ate some food. Then we sampled some more brews. Then we got some more food to take home. The good news is, we didn’t eat it all and the bad news is it’s still in the fridge! I’m not one to waste food, so now I will be able to exercise a little portion control! Oh well, at least I walked A LOT yesterday and even when I came home took the dog for a jaunt. I will be keeping active today also. And even though I could easily slip into an obsessive behavior like getting on the scales daily, I won’t until later this week.

So I had a day yesterday where I broke most of the rules I impose upon myself to try and manage my unwanted weight. That does not mean I give up! It was a transgression… and I can also tell a story about something I heard in *of all places* the restroom line! One woman complimented another woman on her dress and a conversation ensued. The trim woman in the dress confessed she used to weigh considerably more and she lost her weight S L O W L Y !

She explained to the other women in line she added rules weekly to her weight loss regime and she did not diet on Sundays. If you walk in to the water instead of jumping off a high dive right off the bat, you have a much higher likelihood of continuing to swim. She now just eats in moderation, but says she likes to exercise too.

So I don’t want to get too TOO excited about it, but when I got on the scales yesterday, I weighed 181. That’s down from my initial posted weight of 184. My highest weight before I started posting was between 185 and 190 so I feel pretty accomplished when I look at the scales and see 181! It’s not a bad motivator I try to weigh myself about once a week, so I’ll keep you posted!

It doesn’t hurt that this is summertime and everyone wears less clothes. Don’t wanna show a bunch of fat, right? And this nice weather for me is a big incentive to get up in the morning early and get moving, even if it’s just walking through the yard with my pup to enjoy the scenery.

It’s nice to see actual movement on the scale though, because I know I don’t live a saintly existence when it comes to food and drink! I DO try, but everybody slips.

I don’t let myself be described by my failures, but by my successes.

Been up for an hour. I had my cup of tea, and spent some time thinking about yesterday. I feel fortunate I don’t have to go to work at the crack of 7! Gives me time to plan my daily attack on unwanted weight. I think I might be easily led astray earlier in the morning before my vigilance is at full tilt. I texted with my brother a little yesterday and we were discussing weight loss. We talked about crunches and how we both hate ’em! I think it was a good conversation because today crunches were in my mind and crunches was what I did. My goal was three sets of ten with legs bent, doing them to the middle and each side. I did around 2 1/2 sets of ten and think I’ll feel them later. I used to love exercise when I was younger. I wonder what changes that? Oh well, I did something, anyway!
I got off a little early last night and had planned chili for dinner. All in all I feel like I did not assault my body with bad food yesterday and that’s a good thing! This really is a day by day adventure of sorts. I think I’m getting into the routine of morning tea, sensible breakfast and having a few good choices around the house. Good choices for me are the oatmeal and rice that I made Monday and fruit and decent bread so I can make a sandwich. I know a PBJ is loaded with sugar and I’m sure the bread has some too, but it’s still better than a bad choice and I usually slice up a banana on it too.

I’m wondering if anyone out there wants to share what is the thing they like to eat that they crave. Or more than one thing? It sucks to work really hard on eating the right things and then one tub of Ben and Jerry’s can throw you for a loop! I’m just glad I don’t like chocolate that much, ’cause I can’t always say no to the things I love to eat, and I eat too much of them.

I need to learn to not do that.

Here’s a partial list of the things I indulge in when I indulge:

Salsa. Good, hand crafted salsa.

Guacamole. Loaded with fat, but I love it!

Sushi. I know, these aren’t sweets.

Doritos. I could eat the whole bag if I bought one.

Pepsi. Goes down good. TOO good.

Ben and Jerry’s Creme Brulee ice cream. Thank GOD they don’t carry it at our local grocers.

Can’t forget steak. If I go out to dinner and order steak, I can bring home half or eat the whole damn thing. Which is too much….

Alcohol. I try to forget there are calories in it!!!

Stayed up til 1 last night. Woke up too many times to count. I have to take a friend somewhere this morning and “good me” would be going on the trail first for a brisk walk. “Tired and sore me” knows this isn’t likely right now, so I’m fixing a cup of tea and making mental plans for the day. This mental plan includes eating breakfast. I KNOW I’m not hungry now, but I will eat something before I go because if i don’t, well, I could eat something worse.
Went to a local eatery/bar last night after my husband was off work. Mainly because he wanted a hamburger. I wasn’t even hungry and I sat there, eating chips, salsa and cheese and splitting a pitcher of beer. The new plan will be to tell him to pick up his food so I don’t get roped into going. I didn’t get kidnapped, though, I went willingly. And I wasn’t cooking either. My role as a wife is pretty loosely defined and I cook for me if I want to and I cook for him if I want to. He says he wants to get healthier but he wants to eat a hamburger from the bar every night and crack a beer every time he comes in the house. Habits, habits! We all have ‘em! Can’t fault him for whatever he does since he worked till 9:00 last night and is no doubt up on a roof until it gets too hot today.
As for me, I am glad I don’t work until 2:30 today so I can make a few healthy foods to take me through the week. Ideally I could post a few recipes on here, however I am eating pretty simply so if I make my rice and oatmeal then I can forge a few simple meals on my breaks and not eat too terribly many calories.
Speaking of calories, I’m not much of a calorie counter. Some people can rattle off the caloric content of so many things it amazes me. Of course I have unwanted weight, so maybe i should START counting calories. If I have to I will, but for now I will keep on with a realization that shitty prefab foods are bad for you, ‘kay?
Even if I went out and ate shitty food (oh well, at least the chips were homemade corn tortilla) OOPS! deep fried….. that doesn’t mean I’m OFF my program. I won’t just say “Oh well, I’m done for”, I’ll start out good today and make plans to continue to do well.

I went out for lunch today with my son.  I pored over the menu in a new “what’s not horrible for me?” kind of way.  I was also multitasking and on the phone with a friend discussing any number of things when I mentioned my final choice.

Grilled Chicken Asiago Salad. <— when I got it, there was enough for three servings, I swear.  And my friend had asked me earlier who came up with the idea of cheese on a salad.  I don’t know the answer to that, and usually I ask for no cheese and the fries on the side (right-same question-whose idea was that?)  I think I didn’t do too much damage since I gave the rest of the salad to my son to take home and I used Balsamic Vinaigrette that I kept on the side.  Did I mention it was housed in a “lightly seasoned sourdough bread bowl”?  I think I ate about a third of the dish.

In a time when people go out to eat as often if not more often than they eat in, I think we should have more healthy choices on the menu!

In truth, I am eating at home much more.  My personal habit for now is to make enough oatmeal for a few days and stash it in the fridge, then microwave it as my morning meal.  And I have done the same weekly for rice, so when I come home at lunchtime I can throw something together and not have it be too bad for me.  I’m hoping it makes a difference, and If I have to be stuck in a rut of oatmeal daily for a while, then so be it.  Besides, this morning was Cheerios with unsweetened almond milk and a dash of cinnamon.  Mix it up!

I want to put out there a few things I think about all the time.  I mean ALL the time.  It is my unwanted weight.  I saw a commercial a few years back and I think it was about a weight loss program or product even.  It showed a woman walking around everywhere during her work day with a weight attached to her leg.

That’s how I feel every day.  I think about my extra/unwanted weight almost constantly!  It’s not like every time I look in a mirror I loathe what I see (and I know some people do that, heavy or not), it’s just always in my mind. Like when you read a Chinese fortune from your cookie and instantly add “in bed”?  That’s me with my albatross of extra weight.

My resolution is to change what is always in my mind.  Now what will be in my mind is my goal.

I like that idea.

If you’re wondering what my goal is, I can say this much:  it’s not a cut and dried amount of “poundage” so much as it is healthy, fit ME!

Worked till almost 11 p.m. last night, later than usual.  I mention this because I suspect working late makes it difficult to eat right.  Last night’s dinner was a special request from me, steamed tofu with vegetables in curry sauce over white rice.  Actually, I guess it’s not that special since I request it often, but this time I said the magic words: NO OIL. Tasted the same to me!  I will admit I ate too much.  A new change for me is I did not go out after work. Straight home, took a shower drank a Coors light and went to bed.  I don’t know what my calorie count was, but I know my “work” count was pretty high.

Now starts a new day (cup of tea in hand instead of the fat laden coffee) and I am glad to be feeling pretty good about yesterday all in all.  I have to take my son to the grocery store this morning and even though I do need a few things myself, I am going to try and be creative (thanks to this blogging thing I’ve been doing) and walk a lap around the store while he’s inside getting his order.  Looks like a beautiful summer day out there and I can’t wait to get in it!!!

Right Now I want to post an inspiring song song by Van Halen, but I can’t figure out how.  :)

Back from the store and I know it looked like a set up but truly everything I bought was healthy food!  I managed to walk a lap while he was inside the store shopping..  he is trying to lead a more health oriented life as well and we both managed to stay out of Burger King which was right there.  I ate a mandarin orange while I walked because I was getting hungry during the shopping expedition.  Then I peeled a grapefruit… sadly it was SO SOUR ***WOW*** we’ll see if those things sweeten up with time.  I could only eat half.  And I shared a small container of cut watermelon with my son in the car on the way home.

Home, I had the rest of my oatmeal with almond milk, sprinkled with cinnamon.  I made Tahbouli.  I picked up the ingredients I needed at the store.  (more later on that)  Then my girlfriend came over and we had a few drinks… vodka and juice.  We’re planning on going out later and dancing so I’m hoping the two things negate each other.  I told her about my blogging and “new regime” as it were so it’s truly real now and I can’t back out… was I going to?  Noooo…..

Just got back from watching a band play.  I had Tabhouli and marinated deer meat for dinner (grilled) and two mixed drinks with my girlfriend earlier.  I had three light beers while out and am eating a bowl of rice, soft tofu and soy sauce.  I hope my dancing negates the beer tonight.  Its almost two!  Time for bed!

So today is another day in the journey, the weight loss journey, if you will.  Only today will be different.  I will actually Blog about it.  It’s 7:34 a.m. OH WAIT… let me get a cup of tea.  Okay it’s in the microwave and well, now my day has officially started.  Let’s talk about that tea.  It’s a generic bag in a cup of water and i will add one pack of sugar to it.  Not too remarkable, but it represents change for me since any given morning it is not uncommon for me to go get a cup of coffee and load it up with creamer and sugar.  Just one change I am making to aid me in my journey.  Not saying I’ll never indulge in a cup of coffee again, but NOT RIGHT NOW! Let me give you a little background right now before I go any further:  I’m 48 years old am 5’8′ tall or thereabouts (I really don’t want to know if i have gotten any shorter over the years) and have been slender most of my life.  At my heaviest, I weighed right around 200 lbs. That was in February 2010.  I remember being at my sister’s house (I did not own a scale) and looking down and thinking “I have to DO something about this!”.  That’s not to say this is the first time I have been aware of/dismayed by my weight, just the first time it really slapped me in the face.  200 pounds is not something I ever wanted to see when I looked down at the scales.  It was then that I started in earnest to change a few things and it really helped me then to lose 20 pounds over a couple of months. What did I do before when I lost 20 pounds?

1. I quit buying my morning cappuccino.  Which sometimes also had a crazy sugared snack cake attached to it before I left the store.  How did that get there?  Might as well eat it.
2. I gave up all carbonated beverages.  This meant NO Pepsi to me, but also no slushees or expensive Sheetz drinks, either.  I switched to water only.  I like water.
3. I quit going out at lunch.  Me and the mates at work, well we have a stressful job and it helps to talk about it with your buddies.  Does it?  I’m not even so sure about that after a point and there’s no doubt the stuff I was eating was not healthy. So I started packing lunch.
4. NO MORE CANDY.  The workplace is saturated with the stuff.  And I like candy.  That goes for chips, too.
5. Nothing after dinner.  I would make a decent meal and that was it.  I couldn’t eat after that.

Those were the RULES, anyway.  Did I stick to them?  Or better yet, how WELL did i stick to them?

1. I made a cup of tea every day to take to work.  One Splenda.
2. I drank water instead of my beloved Pepsi.  Some thought I lost my mind.  Tea at my desk if I needed the caffeine, which I did.
3. I packed my lunch and ate in at work which saved a boatload of money.
4. Not touching the candy or the chips at work.  I know this is starting to sound saintly, but I opted for fruit.  I like fruit, too.
5. Yep, this was a tough one for me.  I broke it now and then.  When I did, I would try not to eat too much.  Or go for a bowl of cereal.  That would be skim milk for me, just ’cause I like it.

Since that time I have switched jobs more than once and all kinds of things have changed in my life.  Life changes all the time and I am now realizing I need to continue to think creatively and not stagnate because I see my weight creeping back up as I let my guard down and slip into some of my old habits. I DO have a scale now and I weigh 184 pounds today. So let me go back to my list and see what has changed… Honesty is painful but I can take it!

1. I slipped into a new coffee addiction.  Off the cappuccino, after I moved across town I started getting coffee at a diner and loading it up with creamer and sugar.
2. I still haven’t gone back to carbonated beverages.  I like to say if I drink a soda it will be in a mixed drink.
3. I don’t do lunch out but with this job I eat after work.  And it usually is eating out.  This has to change!
4. I still don’t eat the candy, but I can succumb easily to the lure of chips, and have.  I like chips.
5. I don’t really eat anything after dinner because dinner is so late.

So that’s my pretty honest critique of me and what I am doing wrong right now and why my weight is creeping up.  I actually want to lose more.  It’s all about adding things and subtracting things, I guess.  Adding healthy things and taking unhealthy ones out. In the past few weeks, I have been quite mindful of what I have been eating and doing.  I wasn’t blogging yet but every day I did something GOOD (blogworthy, even), it put me one step closer to today, the day I actually start blogging about it. I know every person’s journey is personal, and every person’s journey is different.  What has worked for me may not work for you but I hope you can take things from what I write and perhaps adapt them to your own journey.  I’m off for now.  Off to make some oatmeal!

Breakfast was oatmeal (I made enough for two days) with unsweetened almond milk and cinnamon on top.  And a pear, grab n go for work.  Lunch is leftover “Signature Salad” from a local eatery.  I shared it and a way too salty club sandwich with my other half last night.  It has lettuce, balsamic dressing, blue cheese, red onions, shredded carrots and some nuts.  The portions are out of control there, but I think sharing it helped, along with leaving some salad for today.  Salad and a bowl of rice.  I have a long day ahead of me and work in a restaurant.  Today my rice has a drizzle of sesame oil, pepper and soy sauce.  I will grab a grapefruit and a tangerine to take back with me.

I took a walk on the local bike trail today.  I didn’t have a lot of time this morning, but it was about 40-45 minutes.